Thursday, October 20, 2011

Guilty

While driving yesterday evening, I heard a song that literally made me cry as I was driving!

Carrie Underwood's All American Girl.

Why did I cry you ask? 
Because, after five weeks, I'm still sad our little girl growing inside me is a GIRL.

Before anyone downs me, yes I know I'm blessed to be able to get pregnant and have children, but I can't help this way I feel. I've always wanted a little boy and to be able to be give my husband a SON.

I know once she gets here I'll love her just as much as I love my two girls but am I so wrong to feel this way?

My mother-in-law said it best... 
"You'll have your time of mourning the loss of never having a son" and that's how I feel. 

This baby took thirteen months to conceive and I love feeling her kick and move and can't wait to see if she has the matching birth mark like her sisters, what color eyes and hair she has, or any hair at all!

Please tell me I'm not the only person that has ever felt this way?

I am my mother's third girl and she did NOT know gender with me and was sad I was a girl. 
My mother-in-law had three sons and didn't know the gender of any and was sad for no girl. 

I want this feeling to go away because I feel increasingly bad for my child. I don't want people to think I don't love her, I just can't get the feeling to go away because I thought she was a boy for 18 weeks until my ultrasound proved me WRONG!







1 comments:

mari said...

Bradley was SO mad that Emma was a girl because he was conivned she was a boy. He WALKED OUT of the ultrasound room when they said it's a girl. But as SOON as I had her, he was in love. And the same with Ryan. He wanted another little girl so bad. I know how important it was for you to want a boy, and it normal feeling. I know you love this little girl just as much and everything but you want a boy too, and that is OK. Are you and Chris going to have any more or is this one that last?