Wednesday, August 14, 2013

"Sacred Silence" Online Novel by Valerie King of IntelliGender

I was emailed 6 pages of this novel to help share about the series as it debuts

Valerie and I have worked together many times when it comes to IntelliGender and blog reviews, but after our latest review I was asked about working together on a different topic and quickly said yes.

Valerie King is not only a Social Media Director for IntelliGender, but also an author! With books published and her own website, Valerie has found a great way to express herself and share with others through her writings. 

If you're familiar with IntelliGender, then you know their purpose is to bridge that gap between finding out you're pregnant, and your gender scan to see baby and discover what you're having with a fun at home test to discover gender. While their tests have an accuracy rate of 82%, let's not paint the nursery until you know for sure ;)

From August 15-October 15 Valerie will be posting chapters/journal entries of parents and their thoughts and feelings on loss. Posts will go live every Tuesday and Thursday on the Intelligender blog and will lead up to Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day on October 15. Last year IntelliGender teamed up with blogger Beautifully Chaotic on a walk in the Dallas area to help remember the angel babies. The walk is called "We Remember You" and last year there was close to 1,000 names submitted from IntelliGender moms. If you live in the Dallas area, there will be another walk this year, October 12, 2013 to honor the angel babies and I encourage you to reach out even if you don't live in the Dallas area. We want to remember and honor angel babies from all parts of the country.

While this blog wasn't starting until the middle of my pregnancy with Macyn, I shared a lot of the ups and downs of my scary first trimester with her on a previous blog I shared. I wish I had those posts today to help relive the moments as they were fresh and raw, but I'll never forget the worry I felt as my baby's future was left unknown. 

About a week after finding out I was expecting our 3rd child, I had some dull pains on my lower left side one evening. After I laid our two children down, I let my father know (who was visiting) that I would be trying to relax in bed because I wasn't feeling good. After a few hours the pain became more intense and I paged my Dr to see what I should do. I wasn't expecting him to say that I could be loosing my baby. 

While my Dr suspected a cyst or tubal pregnancy, I remember my brain going blank as I immediately was filled with too many emotions to contain my sadness. After calling my husband to come meet me at the hospital, we started the several hours of tests and waiting to see the fate of our child. I remember seeing the little sac on the screen as a small 5 weeks along and the split second pin point dot in the sac. That, was our baby, and I couldn't help but think that I might never see the sweet face the went with the speck I saw on the screen that night. 

After being told to treat it as a "threatened miscarriage" I had weekly ultrasounds with my Dr. to watch Sch Subchorionic Hematoma, which is the pooling of blood between the chorion, a membrane surrounding the embryo, and the uterine wall. Mine luckily went away at the end of my first trimester, and when I look at Macyn now as she thrives in Toddlerhood, I think back to that rough first trimester and how I thought I could lose her. 

While I've never lost a child, the feelings I felt with Macyn were very real and I'm so lucky to have her. The first chapter of "Sacred Silence" really spoke to me and made all those feelings with Macyn rise to the surface. It's a story about a couple who lose their baby boy, and I couldn't help but let the tears flow as I started the second page. While this story is about loss, it was respectively done and made you feel the emotions for the couple as you read their story. Reading their feelings and time spent with their son, alone in the hospital room, I felt like I could really see them in their time of grieving, as well as trying to remember their son in his peaceful state. 

I will be following this series and the posts two times per week for the next several months, as they're listed up on the IntelliGender blog and linked on their Facebook page. I'd like to leave you with a small part of the first chapter, and hope you check out the series for yourself as Valerie shares and remembers all those sweet little angel babies on October 15, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. 

Whether here for a fleeting moment or years on end, a child, your child, molds you instantly once they nestle within your womb. - "Sacred Silence" Valerie King


MotherhoodLooms said...

Miscarriage is hard. Some of us talk about it a lot. Some of us don't because it's painful, we just want to move on, or whatever else. It just plain sucks.

Danialle B. said...

I think most women worry during the first trimester. It's hard to get away from. While I've never had a miscarriage, I've talked to women who have. And it's heartbreaking just to imagine being in their shoes. I'm glad your little Macyn came out bright and healthy :)

Christina Ventura-Dipersia said...

Thank you for sharing this. I had a chemical pregnancy that I lost last July before I got pregnant a month and a half later with my daughter. I had never tested positive with a pee stick (even though there were times in my life I thought I had been pregnant), and in mid July last year, while we were on vacation in the Berkshires and hubby was sleeping, I snuck out to the grocery store and bought a first response early result test and peed on it. It was faintly positive!!! My heart dropped and I was just flabbergasted.

I had literally just gotten married 2 and a half weeks prior - we were in disbelief but so excited. I came home and showed my mom the test and asked her about 50 times if it was positive, to which she said yes. I said I didn't want to get excited until I was positive I was preggers. I guess part of me knew... 2 days later, I started to lose it and a blood pregnancy test confirmed I was not pregnant 2 days later. I was sad even though I never got to see an ultrasound, but I didn't wait too long to try again. It made me worry a lot more with my daughter, but it also made me cherish her a lot more. I couldn't be happier that I have her :). Everything happens for a reason.