Let me start this post by saying I love my children. They're the reason for everything my husband and I do in our daily lives. Why we get up in the morning, and why we work so hard to make sure they have a life without want. With that being said, this is my own personal thoughts and feelings while adjusting to Motherhood knowing our family is whole with our 4 little girls.
Sorry for such a long post, but I love using this blog to get my thoughts out and to share parts of my life other than reviews. I hope you all enjoy.
This is a follow up post to my original posted March 2014.
We got pregnant with our first child just three months after I turned 18yrs old. We'd been together for three years, and while she wasn't planned, we were ready to start our lives as parents and a journey that would change our lives forever. From that point, we grew our family by three more little girls, built/bought our first home, and adjusted to some job changes along the way.
Life can be hard with four children. I only have two arms, one mouth, one set of eyes, and I'm always stretched thin. No matter the case, I've continued to battle with wanting another baby.
I thought as Mya got older the feeling of more would go away. I could learn to move on from this feeling, and close the baby chapter of my life. Now that she is officially 18 months old, I've found this feeling to be stronger than ever before.
It seems as though as she gets older and I see the "baby" side of her fade, it only makes my heart want a baby more. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing her smile, interact with me and her sisters, get so excited because daddy's home from work, and so much more.... but I miss tiny babies.
I miss being pregnant and feeling the rolls, hiccups, and bladder kicks. I miss watching my body grow and change knowing there's a life inside me, and I love the way my girls interact with my belly showing their sibling so much love before they ever see them.
I miss delivery! Doesn't that sound so weird?! lol. I totally miss it though. My last two children were natural births, and I just love knowing that all the pain, being so exhausted, back labor, cries that I can't do it anymore, are so worth it when I see that beautiful baby and witness how amazing a woman's body can truly be.
Tiny little baby feet, sweet smelling skin, the first time they look up at you after such a crazy entrance in to this world..... everything is magical.
Sometimes I wonder if the feeling will ever get better. I know my sister has told me she still has the feeling 15 years after her last child was born. How as women, do we learn to live with this feeling? This "ache" as it was described in another blog post I recently read.
As I watch my children grow in to young ladies, I find happiness in seeing them succeed in school and every day life, so why is this nagging "ache" so over powering?! When I see pregnant women on tv or at the store, my heart flutters at the thought of being pregnant again.
My husband and I have talked about this time and time again, but he doesn't want any more children. Because of this, I don't know where to go from here. I want to get rid of all the baby stuff (except favorite outfits) but its hard to go through and see, knowing it'll be gone forever. I always think,
Anyone have any friendly advice for me??
Any tips on learning to deal with/get over the ache for more??
I'd love to hear any thoughts/suggestions!!